SPLIT SYSTEM VS DUCTED AIR CONDITIONING
SPLIT SYSTEM VS DUCTED AIR CONDITIONING
THE IMMINENT ZOMBIE UPRISING SHOULD NOT BE YOUR ONLY CONSIDERATION
ducted air con
Split system vs ducted air conditioning is a common question around this time every summer. Sleepless nights, muscle fatigue from work, but unable to bridge the gap and drift off at night is a horrible feeling. 11pm, 12, then 1, I can still get 5 hours sleep if I just get off soon. 2am well, 4 hours is better than none. So it goes. Some nights you’re lucky to get sleep at all. Next day forecast 33 and working outdoors on two hours sleep is enough to wreck every summer. Until Mr Carrier invented air conditioning. In New York city of all places where snow is more common than sun. There’s speculation Mr Carrier was wearing gloves and thermal underwear to keep warm when he invented air con. I would like to think he had some underwear on. Any will do.
SPLIT SYSTEM VS DUCTED RUNNING COSTS
The answer to this question is easy unless you’re an architect with ADD. Split air conditioning is what you need. The only disadvantage it has is the boxes you will see on the wall inside. Agreed, the wall may look nicer without it. However : would you like two streamline, modern looking white plastic boxes inside, and $4000 in your pocket. As per left side example above…. Or perhaps no ugly boxes, ceiling vents, and very empty pockets. The question has just answered itself I reckon so those of you who don’t have a money tree in the backyard, forget the ducted. For the architects who forgot to take their happy pills this morning I shall put forth some more reasons not to buy ducted air con. You don’t have to listen but it may just save your life. You can thank me later.
Split System Advantages
- Lower installation costs. Way lower. Less than half.
- Lower running costs. Way lower. Less than half.
- My ducted last summer cost $1k + in power per quarter
- My power bill is now $350 per quarter with 3 splits.
- House is just as cool. Maybe more so.
- No great big holes in ceilings or walls.
- Zombies cannot enter through split system hole.
- The $4000+ you’ve saved will make your wife happy
- If single you now have an extra $4,000 for ammo.
Is that Bruce willis crawling in your duct or an undead demon?
- No white plastic boxes on the walls inside
- More room for fancy architects degree on the wall
- Calm nerves because your walls are perfectly perfect
- You recycle more you now have a 350 page power bill
- No excess cash in pockets enables you to move faster
- Useful for running from zombies who entered your home
- Through big stupid holes cut for ducted air in the ceiling
- Feel superior to others who can only afford split air con
- Only till zombies surround your home. Then you’re toast
SPLIT VS DUCTED INSTALLATION AND TEMPERATURE
SPLIT VS DUCTED
3 SPLIT SYSTEMS
dUCTED AIR CONDITIONING
Guide to temperature range and installation costs for Split system vs ducted air conditioning installed in modern Australian home, 35 degree day and all windows closed. As per the diagram above the temperature range throughout the home is not much different using the splits as opposed to the ducted. What is not explained adequately when people consider a ducted air conditioning system is the constant area.
Each system must have a main common area that is not zoneable eg must be open at all times. Meaning usually the kitchen or lounge MUST be open even when you only want to cool a bedroom or two. Your 10kw system is running at 6kw instead of 2.5 and that’s when it’s been zoned off to the most restricted operation. Compare that to just running a 3.5 in the master and closing the door, and the savings are enormous.
RECENT EXAMPLE OF SPLIT SYSTEM RUNNING COSTS
As an example I moved into a house with a nice big ducted before last summer. I ran the system sparingly I thought and still received a $1000+ power bill in November. Immediately put splits in my bedroom and one in lounge, bill is now around $350 no matter how hard I flog them. When comparing split system vs ducted air conditioners there’s really not much working in favour of the ducted. Especially when one understands the zombie uprising may only be days away.
Split system : safety, WEALTH and long HAPPY life
Installing a split system in your house will : keep you healthy* will increase your intelligence** give you incredible sex appeal*** keep you safe from zombies**** increase your house value*****
Under Australian consumer law if we make promises that are impossible / unrealistic / unlikely / we could never keep under any circumstances, its ok as long as we place the correct number of ** next to the bullshit statement being made. Example above :
* will not affect your health unless it falls on you
** does not make you smarter
*** You’re already too sexy
**** that’s if you make it home
***** That’s if the bubble doesn’t burst first.
Ducted : bankruptcy, fear, and LINGERING death
Those who have parted with the enormous piles of money required to buy the ducted air conditioning system. Who then take a second job at Bunnings on Sunday turning sausages over and over and over while getting cooked under a flimsy canvas tent. Arrive home at night to discover the letterbox is sagging near the ground because there’s a 12 chapter electricity bill jammed in it. After reading through all the charges trying to find a total figure your eyes nearly pop. $265,500 and you’ve only had it running two weeks. Time for bed.
Sleep finally comes around 11pm. The alarm is set for 11.30 pm to get to your night job at QuikEMart, the one you took to repay the loan for the ducted air conditioning system. Which you bought so you had more space on the wall to admire your architects degree. Which you worked hard at university for so you could get more chicks. Just then you hear heavy breathing and recoil at what smells like buried, rotting flesh. The undead have breached your perimeter. Death may be swift, it may be drawn out and painful. But at least those horrible white boxes didn’t screw up your perfectly perfect square walls on your architecturally correct house. That’s the important part.
So now you know split systems will definitely save you money because there’s no ** near those words. A split may possibly keep you healthy by not falling on your head. If we say there’s no way you could be any smarter or sexier most people would believe it. They know that zombies aren’t real because they have never seen one, yet they are sure electricity is real. The NPC’s voting in Australia know the housing bubble will never pop because the banks only have our best interests at heart.*