SPLIT SYSTEM AIR CONDITIONER REVIEWS

Closest to the top three, Mitsubishi Electric are good, reliable split systems. What’s the difference between Mitsubishi Electric and Mitsubishi Heavy? Mitsubishi Electric make appliances. Mitsubishi Heavy make the best air conditioners in the world and all Japans military equipment. Why did the Mitsubishi company split into two divisions? 

Word on the street is that the deadly blood feud erupted when both boys were competing for the attention of some hot Japanese chick. The enormous industrial output of both factories today – suggests that the rivalry has not diminished over time.

This time in 2013 Fujitsu would have been rival for the title of best air conditioners in the world, but one fateful decision relegated them runner up for at least a decade. It was about this time that one of their engineers decided they’d switch to R32 refrigerant gas before other split system manufacturers. 

This created huge problems at our end because nobody could get R32 at that time. Any systems that needed maintenance or a regas had to sit idle while the suppliers ordered some in. A bigger clusterf**k I have yet to see. The engineer in question has retired in great shame to his ancestors.

Toshiba Japan have always made good electronics. Their latest split systems aren’t in Mitsubishi‘s league but they’ll keep your home cool without catching fire. Recently it was discovered that Toshiba had a spy in the Samsung factory. People in the west were generally unaware of the intense rivalry between the Japanese and Koreans until that day.

When Toshiba found out about the new Samsung robot border guards, they sent in a spy and set about stealing the technology. Which leaves us with only one question :  who would win a robot sentry street battle between Toshiba and Samsung? I got $20 on Samsung because the Koreans always look so serious. But the Japs have Godzilla, so it could go either way.

You may only notice three stars on the Acton picture, but four in the title. We just found out Actron are made in Australia, so we awarded an extra star for being home grown. Having installed 500+ split systems every summer for the last seven years, you might think I would have come across one of these by now. But I haven’t. Just goes to show how many are being sold. Where are they all?

They’re allegedly made in NSW but I was there for a bit and didn’t see any. No great loss because only crap things come out of NSW. Their state of origin team for one, and Heath Ledger is another. Experts agree : Ledger has more chance of winning origin this year than the Blues.

It’s a shame that Carrier only get two stars in this. Mr Carrier, of New York – was the first man to build a practical, working air conditioner. It was his design that led to all modern refrigeration. Another forgotten European who changed the world with his genius. Some people ask : Why did he invent air conditioning in New York? It would have been snowing outside his workshop most of the year.

There’s speculation Mr Carrier was wearing thermal underwear on the day he first demonstrated his refrigeration machine. I would like to think he had some underwear on – any will do. Unfortunately, the people who make his average brand of air conditioners now care little for his reputation. The unremarkable split systems you see here are the result.

These Kelvinator’s have given me nothing but trouble. If I had my way they’d get no stars and be banned from Australia. They don’t sit on the brackets right and look like they’re twisted, even before you start on the pipes. The refrigeration mechanic who taught me air conditioning swore he’d never install another Kelvinator –  and that was ten years ago. Up until 2014 Robbo the Yobbo was the best refrigeration mechanic in all of Logan. One large ice break and a pack of Longbeach mild was his standard breakfast order for twenty years straight. This man taught me everything I know about refrigeration – until his mum went and won the lottery. True story – she actually did. Twenty something million.

Then the strangest thing happened. Robbo took his work boots off and hasn’t been able to find them since. 

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